The love languages

by Corina Buhagiar

You are looking for or you believe that you already have found your soulmate
You want to be toghether on the road of self discovery. To live together the big spiritual adventure of love. You want to be a couple with long life. Do you know how to speak to him/her? Do you know how to listen?

There have been identified five love languages, five modalities in which people express their love, depending on their psychic structure. If a man and a woman, even loving each other sincerely, translate their feelings in different languages, in time they risc to reach unnecessary frustrations. He or she, not only expresses his/her love in a specific way, but expects that the other answers in the same... tone.
To understand, to acept and to assimilate the way in which the other one expresses his or her love is the first step towards a genuine, fullfilling couple relationship. It is the first step towards knowing each other. This is why I invite you to decipher together the codes of love. Do you recognize yourself? Do you recognize the other one?

„I would invent a new language for you”- the first language
To express love verbaly, through ecouragements, words of admiration, words of support, through words of endearment and infinitely nuanced words, who tell „ I love you” in so many ways. Those characterized by this language do not get tired to express their feelings through statements and sweet words. They fill the email box with messages and make the telephone wire red. The ideal foreplay, in their vision, are poems whispered in the ear, own compositions or quotes from famous authors. For them it is important to say and hear „I love you” in as many and varied ways. 

„I would like to be your second skin” - the second language
To express love especially by caressing, kissing, erotic act. They are those who want to be as much as possible in physical contact with their lover. They do not miss any opportunity to hold hands, to caress, to make love, to sleep sticking to each other. For all those who love, closeness and physical touch are very important. But for some it is more than important. It is their way to say „I love you” and to appreciate how much they are loved.

„Beside you I feel that I really live” – the third language
To express love through the number of hours they spend toghether. These give as much time as possible to the loved one and may feel pain in the moments they are far from the other. They evaluate, also, how much they are loved depending on how much time the other offers them and appreciate each effort in this direction.

„I would give you the moon from the sky” – the fourth language
To express love through gifts offered to the loved one. They are those which never come empty handed to a date. They beleive that it is worth to offer everything to the other one and are touched by what they receive from their half, regardless of the value of the object.

„I would ponce the mountains for you” – the fifth language
To express love through actions made for the sake of the loved one. They are those who make every effort to help the other and to take over, for example, unpleasant or tiring obligations. For them, nothing is too hard, because they find ressources in their love. They are also those who appreciate most when the loved one makes them a seervice.
Of course, no one expresses his/her affection through only one of those languages. In an ideal way, when we love intensely and deeply we will manifest all. But each of us tend towards one language, has a spontaneous preferance towards one of the five languages.

Lests play!
Read the following examples and discover which is the predominant language for She and He in each of the six couples:
1.    She: „ He holds me in his arms all the time, even when I wash the dishes! He is sweet, what should I say.. but I would preffer to take a cloth and dry them!!!”
2.    He: „It has not been a thing which I did not offer her in order to make her happy, and she?! She thanks me with half mouth and continues to complain that I neglect her and that we spend too little time toghether!”
3.    She: „When he was away for the first time, I wrote him the most beautiful letter posible! It would be touchig even the stones! And he, in the answer, is tellig me about the type, form and speed of the airplane, how the weather is, and what gifts he thinks to bring me!...”
4.    The third person speaking to He and She: „You could have wait until I leave the room! It is enough that you kissed all the movie!”
5.    The couple Mihai Eminescu – Veronica Micle
6.    She: „He was so happy when I made him his favourite cake! He thanked me all evening... When I think that it is not even hard to do it, I feel almost embarrassed. Anyway I couldn`t find my place waiting for him to come.”

Answers
1.    He language nr. 2, of physical touch, She language nr. 5, of services
2.    He language nr. 4, of gifts, She language nr. 3, of offered time
3.    He language nr. 4, of gifts, She language nr. 1, of sweet, love words
4.    He language nr. 2, She language nr. 2 of physical touch
5.    He language nr. 1, She language nr. 1, of sweet, love words
6.    He language nr. 5, of services, She language nr. 3, of offered time

 

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