Do you want a happy couple? Love yourself first

by Aida Calin

Enjoy your lover’s presence, with no fear of losing him, no fear of suffering. Think that nobody can hurt you. You have the entire responsibility of your thoughts, emotions, feelings and intentions.

You have the chance of being happy
You have the power of loving the other one without asking for something in particular, without complaining for one thing or another, without doubting, simply admiring his qualities, supporting him in his personal development.
This way, your love would be balanced, true, always new and joyful. Freed by the restless expectation, you receive his love as a gift, not as a vital help (paradoxically, carrier of potential sufferance).
Your lover is not here to fill a gap in your soul, but for bringing you a tribute. Choose to attract happiness, thus your road to true love will be open. Because, everything starts with offering yourself.

Get in contact with your inner force
The one that doesn’t love herself is asking insistently to her lover to love her and often shows herself insatiable. She usually waits for love proofs, she keeps a close look out for the words, she spies the gestures. She needs reassurances, confirmations.
Sometimes she is afraid not to loose the loved being, she worries at the smallest appearance of affective withdrawal.
She interprets the phrases and the attitudes in a way that is unfavorable to her. From time to time, she keeps in mind, exactly what could be a proof of lack of affection.
When would you less expect her, she passes from joy to suspicion, from adoration to pessimism. Love based on this types of behaviors and dependencies will for sure end one day or another.
The challenges within a couple are not the other’s issues. They are events that generate an encounter with our own selves. Either we refuse it, we scamper and we fall again and again in the same error, either we accept the confrontation with our own limits and we choose to enter in contact  with our own inner force, with the peace zone within ourselves.

Cherish the great privilege
Love your own soul and you are not going to always crave for love supplements. Trust yourself completely and you will not feel the need to look for reassurances, from now on. Discover your qualities and flaws and you will not have the impulse to conquer in order to prove to yourself that you really exist.
To love yourself has nothing to do with egoism or ego. These are only signs of a lack of communication with your profound self. Love for your self brings with it kindness, demureness, nobility, inner satisfaction, optimism and emotional maturity.
True love naturally respects the other person’s freedom. Many times we think we have rights over the other person, because we love him and that he has obligations towards us. We, in fact, do not have any right over him. And he does not have any obligation towards us. Love does not offer property rights. It is spontaneous self-giving .
It is commonly understood that life in a couple gives one a privileged statute that opens the access to the other person’s intimate space. This is a given privilege, not an owed right. It is a privilege that you can receive in dignity. A gift that only love makes you worth of, each and every day.

Abide in putting this into practice
Apart form unhappiness in your couple relation you have nothing to lose. Happiness is not the purpose in itself, but the mean for life’s fulfillment.

 

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