Woman or Little girl?

by Alina Dospinescu

Motto: A woman who dreams is a little girl who needs to dream more, who HAS TO dream more. A woman who dreams is a soul who flies.

I have read all kinds of articles about the ages of women, how she is at the age of 20, 30, 40 (it seems that these are the only ages that are taken into consideration) – what the woman wants and how she manifests herself in the relationships with men, about her existential crises, about her searches, about all her becoming … The conclusion is that only at the age of 40 the woman cannot be “fooled” any more, only then does she know what she truly wants, she is emotionally balanced and has answers to all questions.

I pondered on that, trying to imagine how wonderful I will be when I’ll turn 40, when I’m going to have everything I wish for … hmmm … including the man whom I did not know how to conquer at 20, because, hmmm … I was too small and ignorant and I could have been fooled …

I laughed with all my heart like a child, remembering how I was “dressing up” when I was little, trying all my mother’s make-ups on my face and her high heeled shoes, in order to feel older than I was, ready to impress the other children from the neighbours, who were looking at me with big eyes, full of admiration.

It seems to me rather inappropriate to start taking as reference some temporal templates and anomalous behaviours, that  kill the sensitivity and loveliness of each of us, our inner world and everything that matters to our soul.

I have had the revelation of the child in us, always ready to play pranks, extraordinary and full of life, whom many times we have the tendency to put aside exactly because of the age, that imposes us certain exigencies and we actually need so much this inner child in order to be truly alive!...

I have felt the little girl inside me, with all her childish gestures and all her naivety, she is much more alive and more real and happier than many inexpressive faces around me, dressed in the coat of a forced age and lacking any nuance. She knows how to enjoy life, to smile, to fly freely, to cry when she is hurt, without being afraid that people will think she is weak …

I do not know where is this rush coming from, women’s rush to reach performances of seriousness taken to extreme, to become more and more sober, to do always what we have to, without affording to do mistakes, to become “the 40 years old woman”, who chooses irreproachably because she knows them all.

I believe that many times, no matter the age, we forget to be ourselves and we are trying to be what the others want: predictable and naïve at the age of 20, contaminated by careerism at 30 and extremely wise at 40 … while inside ourselves we actually remain little girls for all our life.

I wish to be a Woman and a Little Girl, flower and blossom, rain and the rain drop, light from the power of the day and the rosy sunrise … Little Girl – not spoiled – (spoilt children seem not to have the same irresistible candour), but fresh, vibrant, vulnerable and curious, innocent, simple, funny and laughing with my eyes, with my face and all my small teeth. I wish to discover everyday something new, to have big eyes filled with amazement, to risk it without thinking that I assume risks, to play with the whole world, having faith in my power, to dream. To run after butterflies, to have cherries on my ears and in all my pockets! To jump from time to time into puddles and on the springs of the bed. To fight with pillows. To talk with the small insects in the grass. To run together with my friends through poppy fields, through glades and bewitched forests. To be proud of my new red small shoes. To blush when a good-looking boy is looking at me. Not to know all answers … and to ask many many questions! And to believe in Santa Claus, in fairies, in fairy tales and even in the Beautiful Prince. :)

And Woman … Voluptuous Woman, complete, as a tree that has bloomed and now bears fruits … conscious of the masculinity of my man, ready to give him answers and at the same time remain for ever a question mark. With a step behind him, like a geisha and nevertheless flying in front of him like a majestic bird, challenging him to dash towards the heights. Woman who knows balance, secrets and herself. Woman who, with the light that she has awakened in herself, enlightens other worlds …

Woman and little girl, light from the power of the day and rosy sunrise. Rainbow of colours. Woman with an alive heart.

Read also:
Joy of Life

 

Recomanda acest articol