16 choices made by happy people (I)

written by Aida Călin

We are talking about happiness, we are looking for it, we want it and sometimes we enjoy it. What is the difference between happy people and unhappy people? Of course the difference is very obvious, happy people are happy while unhappy people are unhappy, isn’t it? It sounds simple but what makes the difference are the choices that the ones and the others make every moment. Remember that every moment you choose happiness or you step away from it. It’s all up to you and your choices. For your happiness I have done a list with the choices that have helped me maintain myself constantly in the category of the happy people.

1. I choose LOVE instead of FEAR. The people who are truly happy FEAR less and LOVE more. For them love is the air they breathe and that gives them the courage to overcome bravely the fears that meet them at the intersections of life. They take every moment, every trial, every person as an opportunity to find out more about themselves and about the surrounding world. Every unpleasant event becomes a lesson, a piece of advice from life in the sense of improvement and evolution.

2. I choose ACCEPTANCE instead of DENIAL. Happy people understand that you cannot really transform a difficult situation if you deny it or you oppose to it. But you can transform it for sure if by accepting it and by understanding what is the reason for the manifestation of that situation – which you may not see right in that moment. Jung said that “things you oppose not only persist, but they even amplify”. When something unpleasant happens, happy people do not try to oppose it, knowing that such an attitude would make it even worse, but they rather choose to accept it as it is and they ask themselves questions, such as: What can I learn from this? How can I solve this situation the best way possible?

3. I choose FORGIVENESS instead of UNFORGIVENESS. People who are truly happy know how to forgive and go further. Keeping grudge does not help anything. FORGIVENESS is a gift that I am offering first of all to my own soul and then to the others. Forgiveness cleans the soul of loads and burdens and makes us always happy. It has become a habit for me that whenever I feel that something is not alright with me, whenever I do not feel so well, I ask forgiveness from all those whom I did wrong and I forgive all those who did me wrong. I connect myself for 10-15 minutes to the energy of forgiveness and then, miraculously, any problem disappears. Sometimes we do not even realize that we carry with us harmful “unforgivenesses” that become unconscious burdens.

4. I choose the PRESENT instead of the PAST. The past brings only regrets. Happiness is truly experienced only in the present. When you choose to experience the present moment at the maximum, you enjoy the greatest happiness. It is not easy to maintain your consciousness in the present, but any effort is worth it. I have noticed that every time when I explode with happiness, there is only the present time, a continuous, bright and quiet present.
“When you are present, you can let your mind be exactly as it is without feeling that you are its prisoner. The mind is by itself a wonderful instrument. The dysfunction appears when you are looking for yourself in the mind and you confound it with what you are.” Eckhart Tolle

5. I choose TRUST instead of DOUBT. When I used to keep doubt in my thoughts, my soul was tormented. When I gave up doubts and mistrust, I became happy. Because this way I actually choose to trust myself, to trust people, to trust the universe and above all I choose to trust God. Happy people understand that their own believes are like some sort of prophecies that come true from itself and that’s why they treat all beings with love, dignity and respect, making no discrimination because they know that in every man there is hidden a divine sparkle.

6. I choose HUMBLENESS instead of SELF-PRIDE. Happy people do things that they do because they feel that all things have a sense and not because they feel important when they do them. They understand that above their own will there is a cosmic order that arranges everything in a natural way. Happy people do not feel the need to distinguish themselves or to be always right, to be noticed by the others or to demonstrate that they are good and great. They do not enter competitions in order to prove that they are better than the others because they know that the realizations in this world are ephemeral and the values of the soul are the ones that truly count. The happy ones feel the greatness of what is unique and wonderful in their being and do not feel the need for somebody to prove them that. Mark Twain said: “Beware of people who try to treat with contempt your aspirations. Little people always do that, while the ones who are really great make you feel that you can also become great.”

7. I choose APPRECIATION instead of CRITICISM. It has been a few years since I have acquired this habit that when I meet somebody I know, in the first 10 seconds I notice something that I like about that person and I make her/him a compliment. It is nice to see how smiles appear on the lips of people, just because they feel appreciated. I always feel happier when I make others happy. Criticism is good only when it is constructive and gives good results only when it is administered in moderate quantities and accompanied by praises, compliments, appreciations. People are happier when their efforts are appreciated.

8. I choose TRANSFORMATION instead of SELF-INDULGENCE. Happy people look at the problems they are confronted with as CHALLENGES, as opportunities to transform themselves and evolve. Any challenge helps you explore new ways of action, grow every day and develop personally. Happy people are not motivated by money, but by the possibilities of inner transformation. They do not indulge themselves in mediocrity, but at the same time they do not make compromises that should bring them only money and not happiness and inner peace. Happy people know that life is valuable and that the value of life does not come from the material side, but from the spiritual one; they want to bring transformation in the lives of the ones around them and in the world around them and that’s why they are looking first of all for their own transformation.

 

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